The Right Choice
by SunnyZim
Summary: ."Bella woke up with tears streaming down her cheeks and Rosalie’s half-forgotten words from a distant conversation resonating through her brain.." Bella has to make a tough decision. And she hopes she won't regret it for the rest of her life. Jacob/Bella


**Author's Note: **OK, my muse has kind of been on vacation for a while and then this idea came to me and I simply had to write it down;) The storyline necessitated that I include Edward in it though....and I'm not very comfortable with writing Edward, so I hope it turned out OK. Feedback, as always, is very much appreciated!!:-) It keeps me writing!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Twilight

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**The Right Choice**

The sound of laughter echoed through the forest as Bella made her way over the crunchy foliage. Happy giggling, shrieks of glee bounced off the trees, calling her onward. The sound of little feet pattering, a glimpse of chubby brown legs and flying black hair, always out of reach, always just beyond her reaching arms and straining heart. She picked up her pace, stumbling and tripping over hidden rocks and protruding roots, but the faster she went, the fainter the laughing voices became, until in desperation she summoned up a spurt of energy and burst through the trees into a clearing. But it was empty; the voices had faded completely and now she was surrounded by nothing but silence. Not a warm, comfortable silence that wraps around you and envelops you like a blanket. No, this was a cold, smothering silence, like a pillow in the night pressed down over your mouth and nose, stifling, clogging airways, stealing oxygen. It was a _dead _silence. A shaft of sunlight filtered through the trees and caught her where she stood. But instead of warming her, it simply caused iridescent rays to shoot off around the clearing. Bella was confused until she looked down and realised that the rays were coming from her own skin, which was cold and dead and _sparkling._

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In a small, darkened house in the little town of Forks, Bella woke up with a muffled shriek, her heart pounding, her breath coming in ragged gasps as she sucked in the air around her desperately, hungrily, greedily, savouring its taste and reality. The light of the moon shining softly through her open window reflected off her skin and with a whimper she brought her hands close up to her face and examined them through tear-blurred eyes. With a sigh of relief, she realised that the gleaming she had seen was nothing more than the moonlight reflecting off the delicate sweat droplets on her _warm, living _flesh, and with another deep, shaky breath she collapsed backwards on to her pillow, staring up unseeing at her ceiling as images of little brown children flickered past her mind's eye. With a guilty clenching of her stomach, she realised that she was glad that Edward was still out hunting. He shouldn't have to see this. He didn't have to know about the new nightmares that had been visiting her lately.

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Bella walked along the sidewalk and everywhere she looked, she saw families; mothers and babies, fathers and toddlers, pregnant women unconsciously cradling their swollen bellies, gently stroking the skin beneath their clothes. She ran home and phoned up Jake, wanting desperately to speak to him, to hear his warm, reassuring voice. But the voice on the other end was Billy's and he told her that Jake was outside playing with his niece and nephew (Rebecca and her husband were staying for a couple of weeks), but he would go call him if she wanted? In the background, Bella could hear shrieks of laughter – so similar to those she heard every night in her dreams – but these were accompanied by deep, throaty chuckles and the two together sounded so beautiful, so rich, made such a perfect harmony that she couldn't bear to be the one who intruded, who broke up such simple perfection. So she swallowed the sudden lump in her throat and said fake cheerily that _no, it was nothing important, she could call back later._

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That night the laughing medley from today intruded into her sleep and she saw Jacob, holding a little girl by the hands, swinging her around in the air, throwing her up and catching her, grinning, laughing, as the child beamed down at him, a toothless, dimpled smile with shining eyes, eyes that were so familiar to her. Eyes of deepest brown. The little girl saw her and reached her hands out to her, but as Bella reached back to take her, she felt someone brush past her and watched with agony as the little girl, _her _little girl, snuggled contentedly into the arms of another woman. Her heart squeezed painfully within her as Jacob reached out an arm and wrapped it around the woman and the child and, without a single glance in her direction, the happy little family turned away from her and walked off together into the distance, leaving Bella alone and cold.

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Bella woke up this time with tears streaming down her cheeks and Rosalie's half-forgotten words from a distant conversation resonating through her brain – _there will never be more than the two of us….you're too young to know what you'll want in ten years, fifteen years – and too young to give it all up without thinking it through….once it's done it can't be undone…_

"Bella? Bella what's wrong" Edward whispered frantically, cupping her wet cheek in his ice cold hand. But Bella couldn't hear him. All she could hear was _there will never be more than the two of us….can't be undone…._And in that moment, she felt so _alone._

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Edward was worried about Bella. She had withdrawn into herself of late, and was prone to wrap her arms around herself as if she was trying to hold herself together. He couldn't understand it. He knew she had been like this before, when he had left her (Jacob had been so kind as to show him his very vivid memories of Bella during that time), but he was _here_ now and yet she still appeared to be cracking at the seams. He also knew that she was having nightmares – every night he lay beside her watching helplessly as she tossed and turned, muttering unintelligibly to herself. The only words that had been clear enough to understand so far were _so alone _and _just the two of us_, which seemed rather contradictory really, so he hadn't been able to make much sense of it. The few times that he had woken her up from her dreams, she had started sobbing and pulled away from his touch, so now he just watched her, wishing not for the first time that he could read her mind.

However, as he soon discovered, sometimes it is better not to know what someone is thinking. Sometimes, ignorance really _is _bliss. The day after this latest nightmare, when he went home to change, Alice accosted him at the front door. She looked miserable and guilty and didn't even try to conceal her thoughts from him.

_Bella's future's disappeared. For some days, it has been fading in and out like a poor quality radio station, but last night it….disappeared. I don't know why, but Edward…I think we've lost her…._

And as she thought this last thought, she gave a dry sob and flung her cold arms around his neck, trying desperately to cry with the tears that she no longer had.

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Bella sat in the garden, watching her husband swing their daughter around in the air, throwing her up and catching her again, grinning at her, laughing alongside her with deep throaty chuckles. Sarah Rosalie Black giggled excitedly and looked over Jake's shoulder, smiling her toothless, dimpled grin at her mother. Sarah reached out her arms to her and Bella stood up and walked carefully over to her, one hand gently cradling her swollen belly, as she reached out with the other hand to grasp that of her eldest child. Jacob wrapped his warm, heavy arm around his wife and drew her into himself as they made their way back to the house.

Before Bella went to bed that night, she opened her journal and took out the now creased note that she kept there, pressed safely between the pages. It was now ten years since she had found it lying on her pillow, but she still read it through every night as a reminder to herself. Lines crossed the now fragile paper from much reading and folding, but the words, written in a perfect cursive, were still legible, and even if they hadn't been she knew what it said by heart.

_Dear Bella,_

_I cannot call you 'MY dear Bella' anymore can I? Because you are not mine now. Your heart belongs to someone else. And Bella, I want you to know that I am not angry with you. I have always felt that you deserved better and I can truthfully say that, whilst I am aching right now, I am happy for you. I never wanted you to die and to have to give up so much, and now I know that you won't. You will never have cause for regret because of me. And for that I am truly thankful. Bella, I will always love you, but I wanted you to know that, for what it's worth, you have my blessing. May your life be long and happy. And if the wolf ever hurts you…I will be always be here waiting._

_Edward _

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Reading it again Bella smiled, and as she put it back in its place and looked at her husband lying on the bed snuggled up with little Sarah and felt their son move restlessly within her, she knew again with absolute certainty in her heart that she had made the right choice.

**A/N: Please review and let me know what you think!**


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